To God With Love
by StyleDiva
Summary: A few letters from the diaries of members of the cid family. This is dedicated to Poesia-Raro. i really hope u like it. also, all the readers i hope u enjoy it too. the credit for jeanie and kenny's characters goes to Poesia-Raro. Please don't forget to leave a review.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING.  
THE CREDIT FOR JEANIE AND KENNY'S CHARACTER GOES TO** POESIA-RARO.**  
Also this is dedicated to her.  
I really hope u like it PR and ofcourse u guys too :)  
any queries will be answered through PM.  
plz no bashing.

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**CHARACTERS:-**  
**Kenny: Dr Niyati Pradhan's son.**  
**Jeanie: Ins Freddy's niece and Adi-Sara-Kenny's close friend, a special friend of Kenny's .  
Oh and if u guys like this i will continue it and post about the other's too. plz leave a review and tell me whether i should continue or not :)  
**

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_Dear God!_  
_Idealism is a very strong perception of someone in which all the colours of their personality are pretty, a perception whose immensity is such that when that statue of idealism breaks, it swallows you._  
_I lived the first six years of my life looking up and idealizing my father. Then one day, he lost his dreams. Mom was busy earning for us and i was just a kid so noone was there to stop him when he took that extra drink and extra pill. None to remind him that he had a son to whom he was the most special person in the world. So he changed and became the not so special person but above all i lost my father. I lost my ideal._  
_That peinting of idealism came crashing down such that its broken shards wounded me and caused injuries that can't be treated because they can't be seen. I know it's late for me and my father has been that not so special person for so long that somewhere along the line, i lost him completely and this can't be reversed but i need a favour. Can you please guide others so that they don't fall a prey to idealism._  
_With Love_  
_From the boy who become a victim of idealism_  
_Kenny_  
_ps, thanks for giving me the coolest mom ever._

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_Dear God!_  
_I know this is one of those letters that can never get posted but there are a few things i need to say, i need to tell you. Do you know i lost my parents six years ago? Well ofcourse you know! silly me._  
_Coming back to the topic, when i lost my parents it was like suddenly a fire started burning inside me. A fire being fueled by anger and hatred against the world, the world who took my parents away from me so I asked myself how do i defeat the world? Looks? no, people were more beautiful. Money? no I hadn't earned any yet and i wasn't vain enough to use money and become that rich, angry, spoilt brat!_  
_Brain? yes. i got my answer._  
_I had been gifted with good brains so i decided i would become the best. i would defeat the world with knowledge._  
_so i worked hard and i went to every limit. My notes were begged for. My teachers loved me. I went to the limit of falling down enough to hurt the people who tried to be better then me and then kenny asked me a question. He said, " it's been six years jeanie! when will enough be enough? when will you stop? stop trying to defeat and work to succeed. please." and his words actually made sense. I think now is a time for me to end this madness of trying to defeat the world._  
_The world's cruel, I know. It took my most loved people away from me but now i want to work hard not to defeat anyone but to succeed and someday become the best to fulfill my parents dreams not to just show the world that i am strong. So just please be with me and help me._  
_With Love_  
_From the girl who wants to succeed_  
_Jeanie_

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**Author's Note:**  
Hello people! first of all i am so sorry for being absent for so long but now i am back so i am going to torture you guys with alot of stories that won't make sense :D :P.  
so coming to this, well i know it doesn't probably make sense and u probably don't like it but i really wanted to write this so i posted it .  
also, plz plz review. review even if u hate it.


	2. Chapter 2

_Dear god!_  
_I am that little girl who comes out of this letter and goes to eat candy and wishes that on her return her mother awaits her and scolds her and pushes her back into the letter. i am that girl who wishes for a mother who would be worried that her daughter may get lost in this huge world._  
_You know god, you gave me everything._  
_I always got everything i wished for._  
_When i said i choose to study this, the answer would be ok, fine._  
_When i said i want to eat this, the answer would be why not?_  
_When i said i want to wear this, the answer would be wear whatever you like._  
_Nothing is impossible in my world._  
_Then why do i feel like i am constantly under a burden? I will tell u why?_  
_It's because when i say i choose to study this, the answer is ok, fine but it doesn't end here . I get to listen ok, fine but you know Kenny wouldn't pick this subject. The subject you chose is not that tough, your cousins always liked a challenge. Why don't you choose a more challenging subject?_  
_When i say i want to eat this, the answer is , why not? but you know your cousins always choose Italian in international cuisine. why don't you give it a try?_  
_When i say i want to wear this, the answer is , wear whatever you like sweetheart but you know Jeanie always choose Denim or Levis jeans. She said they were more classy , why don't you give them a try?_  
_Constantly being compared is my life. So sometimes i wonder if my mom was still here maybe she would understand? Maybe she would get that as much as i love my cousins, i am not them. I am not Saara or Adi or Kenny or Jeanie. I am Vinny, Vinithra Rajat. I dont want to always be trying t live up to the standards of my cousins. I want to make mistakes, my mistakes._  
_I love them but sometimes i feel like i am living in the shadows of the standards and expectations of the people i love. I want to be unique in my own way. In this race of trying to live up to their standards , i feel like i am loosing myself somewhere along the way._  
_Maybe if mum was here... maybe i would have had someone who understood._  
_You were cruel to me in this one aspect of my life. I will never know the answer to this maybe but i am sure someday i will prove myself to be unique._  
_With Love_  
_From the girl who lives in the shadow of standards and expectations._  
_Vinny._

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**hi guys! i am so sorry for being so late but i am ill so bear with me please.**  
**Also, i had planned this to be a long update but i was unable to write due to my health condition.**  
**Since i had promised someone that i would post an update today, i posted this :)**  
**hope u guys like it. :D**  
**plzzz don't forget to review.**  
**Now i would like to thankyou all for such a warm welcome :)**  
**thankyou so much for ur previous reviews, they meant alot.**  
**Hello cid and KK, u asked k main ideas kaha se lati hu so well inspirations tu hamare irdgird hoti hai, sometimes novels, kabhi friends, kabhi log, kabhi society , kabhi songs, bas sochne ki baat hai :)**  
**And this particular story ka idea mujhe indirectly BlindRedEyes ne dia tha and it is inspired from a novel (chaley tu jaan se guzar gaye)._  
plz review :)  
_**


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